Pens, Pencils and Prayers

Today I heard the quote, "if I waited for perfection, I would never write a word."  That quote seemed to scream out to me while I was sitting at a prayer conference in a workshop called Pens, Pencils and Prayers.

I remember, when I was in college a professor said to me, "you know, you have the writing skills of a 3rd grader, maybe you should reconsider college and be a manager of a restaurant or something."  Those words cut me like a knife and made me stop wanting to write.  And even today, those words make me pause when trying to write a sermon, newsletter articles or even this blog.  Also, if I'm honest, it stops me from writing a thank you card!

Those words that linger on or replay in our minds again and again are what persons in AA call "stinking thinking."  Those messages that draw us back in time to a negative instead of allowing us to walk into a new light or a new day.

Writing is a form of prayer.  To me, it is probably one of the most honest forms of prayer.  Because when we lay it down all on the paper or even the electronic device we use, we can be honest with at least ourselves and in turn we can be honest with God.

So today I say, as a pastor, I am afraid to write because of these old tapes that play in my head.  But I also say and know that God wants us to fully walk into the calling that is before us.  So that means, I can't walk in that fear and walk fully into the calling that God has for me.  So, something has to go.  If I want to commune fully with God, I have to let go of the "stuff" of life that holds me back.  Now writing is just a small portion of the fears that myself or others may be holding onto. But it's an example of what plagues us all.  And I believe that we have to ask ourselves a question:

What are the fears that we are holding onto that are holding us back?  

There is a story I heard once, it goes like this:
Faith had a house.  Faith had a beautiful house.  One day, fear knocked on the door and faith answered and no one was there.  Go figure!

Faith and fear cannot dwell in the same place.

And because of that, today I want to be RENEWED from whatever fear that may be holding me back. Do you?  Do you want to be renewed from whatever is holding you back.

Luke 22:32 says "but I have prayed for you that your own faith will not fail."  Jesus prays this prayer for Peter and I believe he prays this prayer for us today.  Thats what I ask God for everyday, to pray for me and that my faith will not fail.  You see, I want to be renewed in my faith daily.  I want the church to be renewed in its faith daily.  And I want the world to be renewed in its faith daily.

For that renewal to happen, however, we have to let go of the fear that comes from the old tapes or messages from people that don't have our best interest at heart.   Isaiah 61:1-4 is a mission statement of sorts, for all believers that tells us that the Spirit of the Lord is upon us and that we are called to proclaim, heal, bind up brokenhearted, preach freedom, release prisoners and proclaim the year of the Lord.  However, how can we do that if we are still holding on to those things that are not of God?

Today, I invite you with me to pick up your pen, pencil or even electronic device - and start praying for renewal.  In yourself, in others and all around the world.

Love and light
Rev. Imani Dodley


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