Moving past FEAR

Luke 13:1-9

“At the very time there were some present who told Jesus about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices.  He asked them, “Do you think that because these Galileans suffered in this way they were worse sinners than all other Galileans?  No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all perish as they did.”  

 I’ve always been a little “scary” about things.  I was scared of the dark.  I was scared of water (well this is still a little true).  I was scared of riding amusement park rides.  And those where just things when I was a little girl named Kim!  (some of you will catch that)   I remember as I was growing up that my family, who didn't seem to have those same fears, at some point and time would invite me to face them. To look closely at those things that frightened me and see them for what they really was about.  False Evidence Appearing Real.  FEAR.  The coat in the closet that looked like a man in the dark.  False Evidence Appearing Real.  The sea monster in the water that was going to swallow me whole.  False Evidence Appearing Real.  And in regards to the amusement park rides, I had a FEAR that I would be injured in some way, or it would spin out of control.  Yes it happens but there was no evidence that it would happen to me.  So my brother Mark (other siblings) went with me to a carnival and introduced me slowly to different rides.  And as he did, just like in the above picture, I kept my eye on him.  You see, my other siblings, would get so frustrated with me because one of them would have to sit on the bench with me when we would go to any amusement park, because of my fear.  I was dead weight of sorts.  

But as my brother guided me and I rode that “speed racer” of a car, I remember feeling as if I was free.  But not at first.  It was a slow gradual build.  At first, I felt anxious and unsure about what was to come as the motor of the ride geared up.  At second glance, I felt “set up” because I was the only one on this ride and what was going to happen.  I remember the fear building up and I remembrothers love for me wanting me to not be gripped with FEAR has always been a memory of healing for me.  

ber my brother saying to me, “your good, Joy” (his nickname for me).  So I just rode along and began to fell the grip of fear dripping off of me as my brother practiced patience with me through each ride. My

Barbara Brown Taylor from her book, Home by Another Way, says this, 

“…It is not a bad thing for them to count their breaths in the dark, not if it makes them turn toward the light.  It is that turning he wants for them, which is why he tweaks their fear.  Don’t worry about Pilate and all the other things that can come crashing down on your heads, he tells them.  Terrible things happen, and you are not always to blame.  But don’t let that stop you from doing what you are doing.  That torn place your fear has opened inside of you is a holy place.  Look around while you are there.  Pay attention to what you feel.  It may hurt you to stay there and it may hurt you to see, but it is not that kind of hurt that leads to death.  It is the kind that leads to life.”  

The Luke 13 text is one of those moments of FEAR that opens up to grace. The landowner who thinks that the unproductive fig tree is worthless and taking up space thinks that it just needs to go away while the caretaker asks for just one more year to see what will produce.  The caretaker asks for patience.   I like what it says in working preacher about what the Apostle Paul says, “Do you not realize that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance.”  Now, I know that God wasn’t trying to lead me to repent from an amusement ride.  But it did teach me about looking at those “torn places (my) fear had opened up inside of me.”  It taught me to feel those moments and look around while anytime that I am gripped with that fear.  To ask myself why and realize each of those moments never lead to death but a new life.  Because today, with my brothers love, I love amusement rides.   

What about our Church and how it deals with the issue of racism?  Maybe it is a good thing to have our fear tweaked so that we can truly face a reality that has plagued our country. Yes, that may not have been a direct result of “what we have done” but that shouldn’t stop us from facing that FEAR that has gripped our church for far too long.  You see, those torn places that has stopped us short of feeling the freedom of a great amusement park ride are truly holy places.  After my brothers patient “care-taking” my brother and sisters didn’t quite mind me tagging along.  They saw my unique “tree-shaped” form that was a little late blooming as a gift.  They realized that they had to look at how they treated me and why.  This years synod assembly, In Christ, One New Humanity, is an opportunity for us to look at the torn place of racism and what it has done to so many and not look at it as shaming or blaming but rather an opportunity to turn towards the light, for that is what God want’s from us.  That is why God is the patient caretaker allowing us all to be renewed and at peace while taking us on one heck of a ride!  

Love and Light

Rev. Imani N. Dodley